Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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