so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
