But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
