You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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