Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
