What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
