Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
