i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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