please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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