i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize