Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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