If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize