Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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