I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
