somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I need to wash the frat house off of me
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
