you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
