Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize