Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
