Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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