YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
