she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
