Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
