I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
