I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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