I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
