You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
