I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
