My first STD was from a foam party
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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