i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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