lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
