there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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