On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm both gender and math confused
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
