you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
