a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
