Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Less talking, more tequila
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
