have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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