I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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