I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
