Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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