So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just want nice things and good sex
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
