i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
