Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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