just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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