Whatcha textin bout Willis?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
