grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
