you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
