we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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