just survived the first fart of the relationship.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
