she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
