I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
