Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize