she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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