Im at strip club and am horny
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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