i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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