does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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